It's Happened! - From Mom

Remember that cute little dog, and the nice old man in the cowboy hat this morning? And you wanted to eat his dog? Well now that I'm using the ferocious WATER BOTTLE it sure is making you snap back to reality faster isn't it? Not that you don't forget in 15 seconds...but still.

On our walk tonight, I spot this dog in a yard. Perfect test! I angle towards the dog, about your size but a puppy, maybe a year at most. I realize the dog is off his leash. Shit. To not create a panic, I turn back to the road slightly, and he prances after us.

You tried SO HARD to look at him didn't you? How'd those metal prongs feel jabbing into your jugular buddy?! Got put in your place didn't you! I even slowed down and let the dog sniff you. I timidly stopped walking, the leash taught, and you sat down. Just like you were supposed to. I pet the dog, keeping you at arms length, he rolled onto his back, swatting at me, and then, tail wagging, approached you, oblivious to your 'leash makes me kill small innocent creatures' attitude. And then...you played with him!

GOOD BOY! I cannot say it enough. I can't believe that this happened. I literally had just called Jeff today and spoke to him about you because I was worried that there was just no helping you. Now I know that it is possible. You really can do this buddy. We really can. Even though I want to murder you and you embarrass the hell out of me sometimes, someday, you'll be just fine, my special needs baby.

P.S. I still slightly regret not naming you Schitzo when I had the chance...

Mom's asking for it ... - From Teeko

So yesterday she let me out of the car in some neighborhood with houses and there was a dog in the backyard of one all jealous and I was all cool. I saw a door open up to one of the houses and ran to greet the man. I wasn't scared, I could run way faster than him if he tried anything! Just to show my lack of fear, I took a big dump in his yard. I'd already gone so I didn't really need to, but I was kinda nervous so I did.

Then mom called me back in the car. I got on my seat and she kept telling me to scoot back. This was my seat. She keeps forgetting what's mine! I don't have a lot! Just some bones, and some rubbery things, and some sunglasses is all. Then I see the new guy I just met, and he's walking toward MY seat! And then he starts getting in! I stared at my mom, I didn't even look at him. Really? REALLY? Do you not know my history? You're going to throw some guy I just met in my seat?

I considered growling, but my mom just stared back, locking eyes with me...and I could tell she would've scolded me, and I was kind of scared, so I scooted back. Well this guy was in MY territory, so if I wanted to look out that window, or that other one, I just climbed over him. But most the time I just rested my head on the other guy she call's Casey's shoulder. That'd teach her.

Wiley is Weird - From Teeko

This weekend we were staying at Wiley's house! And Mom was a real butt about feeding us. She'd put us on those disgusting leashes, and tie me to one table leg,and Wiley to the other. I could reach Wiley, but not his food! I could only reach my food. I guess she didn't want us to share. She gets mad if I don't share my toys, but then mad if I do share food? What is that about?

So she sets Wiley's food down for the 2nd time, which is usually several days apart I'm sure of it. And he just stares at it! She even put bits of something in there! I didn't get bits of ANYTHING! And THEN she put some water in it and put the whole bowl in the warming box, and it made the whole kitchen smell like delicious melty dog food! Just moist and ready for the eating. Like...meat! Well guess what, he just stares at it, like a white fluffy moron. He has an entire bowl and he just sits there blinking his beady eyes like a catatonic stuffed animal, and doesn't eat the food!

I cried. So hard. She eventually took it away. Hello? I would've eated it!

We're not friends right now - From Owner

Ya know this morning, I could tell you were uncomfortable, but I really thought we made progress you and I. Let me take that back, we did make progress. Did it piss you off that you gave in some? Do you not like me asserting my authoritah over you? Guess what buddy, I AM OVER YOU!

Is that why you pulled this stunt? Digressed back into asshole mode. I know my slippers were probably confusing to not chew up a month ago cuz they were new sitting out, but 2 of these three things (the remote and book, not the sunglasses) have been there BEFORE YOU HAVE BEEN HERE!

It was a hard back book, did you have to eat a chunk off of it? Hasn't the Colosseum experienced enough destruction? And those glasses, the rims are all bent to hell, and the lenses are in pieces...who chews LENSES? I mean I can understand the rims being kinda soft, but the lenses had to pop out fairly easy and to chew those up? That's like chewing glass...the fuck is your problem? Did you have to resort to chewing on glass to get back at me? Was it worth it there snaggletooth? Was arguing with me 90% of the time I make you put your leash on not enough? Wanted revenge so bad you chewed up some glass? I bet thin glass would break easier than lenses too.

Well guess what, this is how things are now! You better shape up, or your ass will be parked in a kennel every damn day I'm at work buddy. You KNEW BETTER! Watchin' you.

Mommy Scared Me! - From Teeko

For some reason, lately she thinks she can walk next to me, or even in front of me! I mean I always let her walk close, she could be next to my back legs, but now she thinks she gets to! It's throwing me off.

This morning, there were THREE dogs where I go crap! There's never dogs in the morning out side in plain site! What were they doing in my toilet? What do they think they could just walk outside without my permission? They just show up without letting me know! I wasn't having any of that! Mom kept holding my collar tight, and I could tell she was getting nervous. Had to be cuz of those damned dogs! I decided to try and kill them! I snaked out from her tight, scared grip and was able to spin around and stand up, big and tall, to scare them.

Then she was so scared she took me around a corner away from the dogs. She said I could pee, so I did, but when I went back it was like something had changed. She wasn't looking at me, I couldn't sense any fear or nervousness...did the dogs go away?

We came out of the corner, and THERE THEY WERE! Did she not realize? Why wasn't she nervous or panicking anymore? I kicked up my ferocity, and received a kick to my side! Where did that come from? ...what was I doing...oh yeah dogs! I was mad at the dogs! Then she yanked on my collar real hard and started casually talking to the Wendy girl that lives across from her. She even stopped, and when she stops I HAVE to sit. I don't know what the deal was...so I just decided to shut up at that point.

She's so crazy, doesn't she realize the danger she was in?! Why won't she let me kill?!

Creepo - From Mom

Dude...I was just freaking out cuz the light in the office kept randomly going dim and flickering, and I just saw Insidious like 2 days ago. Then I walk into the hall to get a drink and maybe turn on another light, and I get this?

Could you not?!

My Promise - From Mom

Leaving you was harder than I ever thought it would be. I didn't expect the torrent of thoughts and emotions that are now ripping through my heart and mind like a tidal wave. I didn't imagine that I would break down walking away from you.

I see hope in your eyes, I know that you want to trust in me, you and your timid soul. I don't know how many homes you've had before me, at least two. I don't know how many situations you were lured into only to be hurt. I can't begin to imagine the pain of your family leaving you on the streets to die. I wish I knew who did this to you, who made you this way, my little social tard, so that I can make sure they are never allowed near an animal again.

Of course you have issues, what human or animal in your situation wouldn't? I know I've thought of leaving you in the past, but when it came down to it, I couldn't do it. I could never do it. And I never will. I will always be here.

Please trust that I'm coming back for you. I wish I could tell you in a way that you would understand, as your confused gold eyes gaze back at me, filled with worry as I pack up your kennel. This isn't forever. Forever goodbye's are all you have known. Please don't hurt. Please don't think this is one of them. I will come back for you, every time, until the end of our time, for the rest of your life.