Missing You - Love Mom

I still miss you, but I'm glad you're happier now...

Goodbye - From Mom

Teeko. You have been a constant source of stress, scratches, bruises, aggravation and bafflement...But you have also been a constant source of laughter and joy, to more people than you'll ever know. Stories of you have been told, and will be told, of your crazy antics, and you're downright assholery...and of course, your baby-like cuddlyness.

I have tried everything...God knows I have...and I so desperately wish I could give you what you need...but day after day, you remind me, you are unhappy. You have your calm, cuddly times as well, where you are the perfect dog. But even if you're not pacing, I can see the restlessness in your eyes, in your continuous stare, locked on me since only days after you first arrived. I know you need to explore, being pent up in a two bedroom condo is not enough for you...and so it is not enough for me.

You prove to me, after seeing you with a yard, and then even after two hours of continuous crazy play at a dog park today, you are still wandering and sniffing hours later...you prove to me day in and day out, you need bigger space. You need more. You're a 50 lb fish in a 2 gallon tank...it doesn't matter how much we love each other...I cannot make you happy.

I wonder how I will live with myself after sending you away...but knowing you will, for sure, in your next home, have what you need, big wide open space with lots to do and maybe even a friend or kids to play with, is what keeps me strong. This is all I want for you. I love you enough to give you up, so that you can have this...you will probably forget me in a few months, your time here a distant memory, ingrained commands, a feeling once in awhile of joy but yet something still missing...maybe in your dreams you'll remember the times we ran free together outside...and maybe in your nightmares you'll remember the tight walls and cramped space and the constant pacing, and no one understanding why. It will all fade away once you find your forever home. Maybe they weren't ready for you yet, and you needed someone to love you, someone who was too codependent to see, that they would have to give up their life to make you happy...until now. And maybe now they are ready for you, and you them.

I hope a piece of me always stays with you, even if it's just a feeling as you fall asleep, a distant knowing that you were once so unconditionally loved even with all your past problems. I know I'll always remember you. I hope stories of you are still told, and others can learn from your mistakes and successes, and that you will continue to bring joy and laughter to my life, long after you are gone.

War - From Teeko

Mom apparently thinks that I should do the treadmill, and then go outside to go to the bathroom. She however, is dumb. Why? Because after I've been on the treadmill, I'm weakened, and I'm tired. I am not at my full potential, and she expects us to just waltz outside all ladee da, while I'm not 100%. She needs protection! So why would she wait to take me out when I can't fully protect her? And she holds me back with that infernal leash, and I keep trying to break free, but then it's harder to tug at it when I'm weakened.  What is she doing?

I hear people say it all the time, Use Protection. That doesn't mean go half way with it, it means USE PROTECTION, the best protection possible, ever! So she should take me outside at my fullest potential, when I'm at my most rambunctious and a alert. It makes total sense. But she keeps not! I thought she was smart about protection...she always claims to be!

So I shit on the treadmill again. Maybe if I keep flinging my feces she'll realize that I need to go out FIRST. I don't care how much earlier she walks me, or how slow the treadmill goes, it still weakens me. Maybe next time I'll wait till she's walking behind the treadmill and send a big ol' turd her way. Maybe I'll just squat down over her head before she even wakes up in the morning and lay a massive mud monkey right on her face. That'd show her.

This is war. And I will win.

I Don't Even Know What To Title This - From Mom

After showering this morning, I then ran Teeko on his treadmill. He is running about 40 minutes earlier than normal. About 15 minutes into it (usually goes for 20 minutes) I see movement behind him. He goes fast and then slow and then fast and then slow, it was during a fast jog, that he decided, to shit all over the place, whilst running. This wasn't like, a little turd plopped out, this was like a full on BM, multiple turds, shooting off the treadmill like a machine gun.


I hurriedly shut off the machine, and he steps in where one had landed on the treadmill, and looks appalled and confused. There is no look of guilt, recognition or shame on his face. He literally was looking at me like, "I'm trying to run here, why did you just dump shit all over? Are you nuts?!"


I couldn't punish him or yell at him, because he was completely oblivious. It would be like yelling at a retard. "HEY HEY! STOP! Stop being retarded right now! Just stop it!"  That's just mean. Even if they do fling shit all over like apes on parade.


I may throw him out the window one day.

Blindfold - From Mom

You do not sniff the air, nor anything else, going outside. It is unnatural. Unless you are on high alert, as a dog, you are not supposed to be looking around for something to kill. I tried to point out things for you to sniff, I tried to distract your wandering eyes, to no avail.

SO you get blindfolded!

I blindfolded Teeko last night for the first time. He was not a happy camper. I talked to him, letting him know where I was so he could still heel by my side, but, without wiggling his little nose and sniffing the air, he decides to run ahead, into a pole. BAM dead center. "Take it easy buddy, stay close," I warn. He does for a minute, until he decides to wander and runs into a tree. By the end, he was sniffing like crazy, and even jumping over things with his blindfold on.

The only way to get over your fear, is to face it. Not being able to scope things out to attack first and ask questions later, is Teekos fear. So, how to take that away, as I do not have a doggy rehab in my house for him to be rehabilitated otherwise. I did it again this morning. A guy walked by fairly close. His ears and nose were going crazy, but he was not! He would glance in the direction of the noise, and continue to go about his business like a normal dog. Will this be a magic pill fix? Course not! BUT we are a few steps closer. He did great this morning...until getting overly confident, as he does, and as we jogged toward my house, the mailbox was apparently in his face's way.

Body Language? - From Teeko

Mom is freaking me out...she's speaking my language more! Of course she's not barking at me, in response to your question Lucky! That's just silly. But she's getting me to do what she wants with body language, she calls it.

I was waiting for my food, patiently staring at my bowl, when I saw she was staring at me. She obviously wanted me to do something! The way she stepped closer and leaned over me, I know I needed to get lower. So I laid down. She then let me eat. Sometimes she approaches me, makes eye contact, and walks away, and I know she wants me to follow her cuz that's what we do! But how does she know all this? Who has she been talking to? Is it one of those bastard dogs that live next door? Are they tipping her off?

What if she starts reading MY body language? Creepy! Wait...maybe I'll show her I want more treats! And food! I need more food. If she can speak it, she can read it, and if she can read I want more food, I'll get more food! I'm dying! I have decreased energy everyday because I'm SO hungry. Ever heard of seconds?! All I can summon the strength to do anymore is, run around, throw my toys, run on the treadmill as fast as it can go, run outside, tackle Lucky, play tug o' war and jump over the back of the couch, that's how weak I am, that's all I can do in an evening. That's it. Pathetic! I NEED MORE FOOD LADY!

In Trouble Drama - From Mom

This is a bit dramatic...he always smiles when he's in trouble, it's like a nervous 'heh heh nooo that wasn't me OKAY IT WAS AND I'M SORRY! Please just leave me alone I'm sorry! I'm dying!'

Give Up - From Mom

I am your master! Got it? I'm your mom too...but I'm you're my dog son! And you will be treated as such, and to be a good son, you have to obey me. Everyday. So when we're outside, I don't care that there is a dog in the backyard near you, if I tell you to lie down so I can pick up your shit, you lie down. It's a tall vinyl fence. You cannot see the dog. The dog is not going to get you.

What do you honestly think is going to happen? Even if I let you roam free, you'd be able to burst through the fence to get to the dog? Do you think the small dog that's not even barking at you even gives a shit about the fact you're on the other side of his fence? News flash for ya buddy, he doesn't.

So when I say DOWN, just lie down! JUST DO IT! We both know that you know what it means and that you're just being an ass.

Also, at the house, when I tell you to go to your bed, do you really think I'm just saying it for my own amusement? Sure, sometimes, I do actually love you more when you're sleeping. But no! I would not waste my breath just to tell you to go to your bed, if I wasn't doing something like walking to the door, answering the door, putting Lucky on the treadmill, etc. SO JUST DO IT! AH!

You make me crazy!

Moving Floors? - From Teeko

Mom got me this new contraption that the floor moves, and I walk on it. She ties me to it, and she must control how fast I go cuz the last few seconds she always says 'run run' and then it goes way fast and I have to run! I get lots of the best kind of treats ever when I'm on it though.

This morning, I saw a threat on our walk, after the moving floor walk. Well I reared up snarling as usual, to be all huge and awesome! And my mom made this really obnoxious noise she's been making. Tssht! And then kept jerking my head and not letting me look at anything I wanted to look at! Usually I throw a giant fit at this point...but I was too tired so I stopped rearing up and sat next to her. She doesn't even let me jump up and down by the front door anymore! She used to always say she was sure the people below love that! If they love it, why can't I do it? She's so mean all the freakin' time...

Strangely though, I feel happier. I don't feel the anxiety and stress I did before this walking floor contraption came into our lives...and mom...well she's still my mom, but she's more now like my pack leader, which is what I need! Mom's are for BABIES! I'm not a freakin' baby I'm a grown dog! And neither of us realized how desperately I needed a pack leader. Us dogs...we really are lost without them. There is always the alpha, our idol, our mentor, our leader. I now have structure. I am becoming one happy calm pup!

Tape and Shame - From Teeko

Mom is not paying attention, or she's stupid or something. She said we were going to learn a new trick. So I'm like, pfft, I've mastered every trick, I've got Sit, I've got Tornado, I've got Wave, Lay Down, so many that it's like I know your language. I'm sure every single trick she's tried to teach me I've learned, but sometimes she tells me stuff that aren't tricks. She's so silly. She stares at me like an idiot expecting me to do something. Silly girl.

Here I am, prepared for this Trick, and subsequent treats, when she puts tape on my nose. Really? To get a sticker off my face is this new profound exciting trick? She always sticks stuff on me, I've mastered this. But I'll entertain her, I decided. So as I'm rubbing my face she keeps saying "Shaaaame" and I rub at my eyes and she gives me a treat and acts excited. Well if I get treats just for brushing at it, imagine the plethora I will attain once this babies off!

So this goes on for a bit, as I rub my face and she says "Shame" and good boy and gives me treats. And then, finally, I get the tape off, and then guess what...NOTHING! It's like she didn't even notice. She taps my nose and says Shame again. It's not there anymore mom! It's right here on the ground, I got it off gimme treats now!

And then she sticks it back on, and says Shame again. We are clearly not understanding each other. Humans.

I Hate Your New Toy - From Teeko

Why was it even going for my treat?! Trucks don't eat treats! ...do they? I mean they are pretty delicious...but it was mine!

You Lose - From Mom

I DON'T KNOW where Lucky is - From Teeko

They ask me all the time! Where's Lucky? Where is he?! I don't always know okay. Plus you sound really excited when you ask me, and then I find him, and usually he's just laying there. Well a couple nights ago, or maybe it was last night...or maybe 5 minutes ago...7 years ago? I'm pretty sure it was 19 days ago...I don't know, I'm horrible with time, anyway, my mom says, where is Lucky?

I. Don't. Know. Why don't you go find him if it's so important. She finally calls him, cuz I'm not gonna find him for you every time lady. So then I get curious because, Lucky doesn't come. I never know what he's doing back there! And he doesn't listen very well. I get this weird zapping feeling in my neck when I don't listen. Doesn't he get that too? Were we talking about treats? MEATLOAF? Bones...oh yes! Lucky. So mom starts to get worried as she begins searching the living room, goes down the hall, checks my Bat Cave area, and I'm curious so I'm following, then we both spot his tail.

Why is he laying on the other side of the desk? That's just weird. So we both wander over, he might have something of mine ya know, and he's laying in front of the empty water bowl, staring longingly at it.

"Wow dramatic much Lucky? Are ya thirsty?" Mom asks him, and he doesn't even glance at her! It's like he was hypnotized. My mom pours some, and I suddenly need some too...cuz Lucky does...and I need what he needs. Then Lucky finally came and played with me. Or should I say hung out with us. Or should I say laid by my mom...

Just Go Already! - From Mom

Just go! You are not trying to find a spot to have your child, you do not need to spend 10 minutes pacing the same 3x3 area and jerking awkwardly back and forth trying to decide, just go!

Then when we both think you've found the right spot, and I can then get on with my day, and you squat down to take a dump, you suddenly spin in half a circle like a sideways walking crab, not realizing your ass is in the same spot it started! And then you impossibly smell a better spot just a few inches forward, and still squatting, creep over to it. Even the turd is getting sick of it! Just pick a damn spot already!

Then, just when you're about to pinch a loaf, a leaf moves, or a car starts, or something happens to where you have to stand straight up and stare, before starting the whole process over again, sniffing and jerking spasmodically back and forth in the tiny sanctuary that is your shitdom. Come on! Even your crap has places it needs to go so just do it!

Play Ball! - From Mom

My neighbor had text me about her internet being down. My crummy router, it's a goner now! F that guy!  I bought a new one! So when I said I'd be home soon to restart it, she said, "Oh well then I think Teeko is playing ball without you then!" Apparently she could hear him running around inside my house by himself. Isn't that cute?! It makes me so happy to know that he DOES actually play by himself when I'm not home to watch him.

He's just like his mom...easily entertained.

The Bigger Black Dogs - From Teeko

Mom and Deana took Lucky and I to the park last night, it was so much fun to run around. They sat in the truck though, and I didn't get why. I kept going to the doors to show them it was safe, then I'd run around, but they'd still stay in most of the time.

I was walking around the front of the truck's bright lights when movement caught my eye. That's when I saw it.

Stretching across the entire field, was the biggest black dog I have ever seen, and as I held still, it held still to! We must have spotted each other in the same instant. As I scoped out his body stretched across the field, standing the same way I was, I thought, I could take him! So I jogged forward to intimidated him, and he moved too! I froze, and realized, there were two of them! Facing me! Big, huge, and black, stretched across the field. But the worst part was...they had no eyes. Just black masses of horror!

I high tailed it outta there so fast! No wonder they were in the truck...

Little Bed - From Mom

Now you can stop being so obsessed with Brayden's Spiderman bed! I got you, a small dogs bed. Your big boy's bed is not good enough for you, but the tiny dog bed is apparently. I'm glad you love it so much and lay in it all the time...even though you barely fit.

Thanks for the Warning - From Mom

As I was about to put on my make up this morning, Teeko walks pointedly into the bathroom, sits between me and the counter, and stares up at me with a sad expression.

"You look guilty..." I comment staring at him. "What did you do?"

Then he starts licking his lips. A lot. Did he really just go eat something and is now telling on himself? Not likely! So when else does he lick his lips a lot? Before he's about to vomit. I quickly run to the living room, about to go out to the balcony, when his stomach starts heaving as he slowly makes his way to the living room. It was like a ticking time bomb, without the digital display to let you know how much time there was left! I had to make a choice! So back to the hallway we went, and I pet him and told him it was okay, as he proceeded to ralph all over the hard wood floor. The apparent culprit was a swallowed chunk of pumpkin from FOUR DAYS AGO that caused the explosion.

He looked very sad and guilty, so I walked him to the bathroom and told him it was okay and to just lay down, which he did. I then go to clean it up...I am out of paper towels. Completely. Out. Not even the sticky glue chunk was left. So I had to use lots and lots of toilet paper. Glad I took a two hour lunch yesterday so that I could be a half hour late this morning! Woot!

But THANK YOU for the warning buddy...because on the carpet.........omg that would have been bad, bright orange on light tan...thank you.

Sorry Buddy - From Mom

As I'm walking around this morning taking Teeko out, I ask myself if I'm going to put his food in his kong this morning. I usually do, but I was running late. Then, thinking about his food, I ask myself, "Did I feed you last night?" I start running through my night time ritual of getting ready, and no. I did not feed him. He didn't even cry or beg for it or give any indication like, 'hello, missing something?' He never does anyway, but when he eats he all but inhales it and freaks out excitedly as I'm pouring it into his bowl.

I think he just assumes he won't be eating, so he's extra excited when he gets to, cuz he lived on the street for God knows how long. So he probably didn't hear me offer him food, and just thought, 'Okay :(,' and went to bed. HOW SAD! As I eat pizza in front of him and send him away when he stares at me. Awwwwwe. Poor guy.

And the night before, I let him sleep in my bed. I woke up to him kicking me repeatedly, so I kicked him back, and he just kept on kicking. So I sit up and realized he was having a nightmare and twitching freakishly in his sleep.

I'm an asshole.

Mutual Trust ... ? - From Teeko

Mom and I have been trusting each other a lot more lately. She even left me out of my kennel one night last week and let me sleep in her bed. But she still holds me really close by my neck when we walk...like she doesn't trust me......but I know she does! I mean she has to right? I'm a good boy all the time. All. The. Time.

Because I know we're trusting each other more, it means when I'm playing with my new friends at the park, I don't have to listen to her as much. She can trust me, I know what I'm doing, and I trust that she won't be able to catch me to spank me nor would she leave me. Usually I get in the car when she says we're leaving, and we had been there a long time, but as I stared into the backseat, I decided I wasn't done playing. I was pretty tired, but there were new dogs and I had to go play with them. It was important. So I trot away and hear the doors shut to the car. Apparently she got the hint that we weren't leaving yet. Silly mom, it's a mutual decision.

Then, as I'm jogging across the park, I heard the car start, and she started to drive away! She would leave me?! I ran so fast up to the car and stood by her window. I didn't put my paws on the car either cuz then she would've definitely left probably! I just stood up and looked at her like HELLO? Aren't you forgetting something?! She rolled down the window and yelled at me as the car stopped. Where does she get off thinking that she gets to decide when we go, or I get left??? Anyway, I got pretty scared, I even gave her my best puppy eyes to let me back in. I guess from now on when she tells me to get in, I probably should.