WTF? - From Mom

Teeko and Lucky were playing tug-o-war in the living room when Teeko managed to spaz the toy away from Lucky. I'm pretty sure Lucky could take him in a real match, but Teeko jumps around and practically flails and Lucky does not appreciate it and gives up.

Lucky then goes to take the toy back from Teeko, so Teeko apparently decides that a good way to prevent him from doing so, is to pee on Lucky's face. Luckily he missed, and instead just pissed all over the carpet.

...WHAT.............THE.....................FLYING...............FUCK?!?!?! REALLY?!?! You'd JUST been outside less than 3 hours before, peeing all over several times, and when is peeing on someone's face ever a good alternative to sharing? Oh well once someone tried to take over the mouse while I was on my computer.......so I pissed on their face.

I just....WHY?!........I mean how can......just..........DISAPPOINTMENT...I mean really how do you.....ehhh!...........no words..............

Stop Being Dramatic - From Mom

I've had two frames since December that I have not filled yet. Both are very cute and they are for dogs. Now that I'm moving desks, it's a perfect time to update some pics, I decided. Finding a pic where Teeko's eyes aren't glowing demonically, or where it's not blurred because he's being a spaz, is tough work! Some are fine, but just not 'frame worthy'. So why not take a few?

I get the camera, call him out of the Bat Cave (ie his kennel) and he rolls onto his back in his kennel, scared. When have I ever called him out of his kennel to yell at him? It's usually to go outside 90% of the time! I finally drag him out and talk nicely, give him some treats, and have him sit. As soon as I position the camera, he runs back in. This goes on until I take him into my bedroom so he can stop hiding.

Talking excitedly to him, I again prepare for awesome photographs to happen. His ears are back, and his eyes are wide, and he raises his paw in the air, as if to shield whatever beating is about to happen. Srsly, look at this. It's even blurred cuz he's jerking around spastically. 

"No mommy! Not the camera! Anything but the camera DEAR GOD IT'S POINTED AT ME!" I can all but hear his brain screaming in horror. Freak. I finally got his toy, and played with him for awhile, until he chewed on it happily, and got a decent pic. The other I used one Deana took with her much better camera. Even my phone camera he freaks out. What is that? Did someone used to take a picture of him then beat him with the camera? Was he raised by one of those tribes that thinks being in a picture takes away a piece of your soul? 

Psycho, anyway, this one was cute, finally! Of course he's happy, he's destroying something. Little shit.

Aren't you forgetting something? - From Teeko

Last night, I get into my bat cave because I see mom getting ready for bed. I'm a good boy, she never has to ask me anymore. I always get into my bed. Plus usually I'm tired before she goes to bed, so if she's in the office, I'll just put myself to sleep there.

But this time she was at her kitchen table, so I was sleeping on the couch when I noticed her getting ready. I walked right by her into my bed. She shut the light off and went into her room and shut the door, as usual. What wasn't usual though, was no treat? No zipping of my door? No 'night night Teeko' ? She was probably just changing her fake fur out, her clothes or whatever humans call it.

But I waited forever, and she never came back out. So I walked out into the hall and stood at her door. She must have heard me cuz she opened her door. My feelings were very hurt, so I just stared up at her, confused. She did forget about me, I could tell by her surprised expression and sudden burst of high pitched ramblings at me. I put myself in bed again and got my treat this time and tucked in properly!

Jeez thanks mom.

Get a Job Teeko - From Mom

He has one. Why can't you get one? Pull your weight, your food ain't cheap!
Well it is...but whatever get a job.

I Love Water - Teeko

Mom and grandma always yell at me not to get into water. It's water. It's not going to hurt me. I know they're just worried about me, so I keep trying to show them, "SEE, it's okay I'm in water. I'm not being hurt right now. See?" But then they still yell at me.

At grandma's she has a pond and waterfall and I love making all the rocks fall from the waterfall. Grandma is even nice enough to keep setting them back up for me to tip over again. But then one time she was really mad about the water, and even grabbed my face and yelled at me. So I simply dropped my toy in there. She would think it was an accident. I just picked it up walked over to the pond and threw it in. Well, who was going to get the toy? Her? Little Wiley dog? No! He's too short. So it was left up to me to brave the water and retrieve my prize. And I still got yelled at. What is with this?

Mom even put me on a really long leash at the park now to keep me out of the water...but then I just want to show her it's okay. So I keep trying.

Maybe they'll see one day, that the real dangers are People and other Dogs and Cars and Motorcycles and Trucks and Loud Noises and Fast Movements and Leafs...those damned...bloody...leafs....

Until then, the war rages on.

Let Me In MY HOUSE - From Mom

Usually you are so excited for me to walk in, jumping up and down happily that I'm home. Not today. Today it was hard to open the door, because you were sitting against it. The folded up rug affected it a little but not much. Was that also part of your plan?

I walk in to find shreds of black, some weird plasticy type lining, and cotton. Whatever the shreds are, they are unrecognizable to the human eye. I follow the trail of destruction to my ottoman. At first, in my horror, I think it's the ottoman, but then I see you got into the ottoman, as there are also two half eaten coasters (that's 3 out of 6 now you bastard, guess that makes us tied). You'd gotten some brand new winter gloves that I'd received with the ottoman for Christmas and had never taken out. They were cute gloves! Well insulated with snowflakes on them! Thanks a lot JERK.

Since the book/remote/sunglasses mishap, I have made sure to give you at least 20 minutes of good exercise a day. Today was the very first day since then that I failed. A last minute flooring scramble for tomorrow morning ensued immediately after work tonight. I tried to have Wiley play with you for a few minutes but he was tired and grouchy. And rly? You even had to get into the office garbage can and shred a paper towel wrapper all around the house. Apparently you cannot survive 1 day by yourself. I lived by myself without you for a year and a half buddy. Guess what. I managed to do it everyday without feeling the need to randomly shred something! You are very much two. STOP IT. Stop being two. Could you?

And you know what kisses are, you will lick occasionally, but then when I have to beat you and scream at you, you have to do the adorable pecking your lips against my cheek or my lips as I glare at you, with ears back and big puppy eyes, until I have to throw you outside because it's too hard not to hug you. You suck. Stop sucking. Stop eating my shit. Stop being so high maintenance that you can't handle one day of me not hardcore exercising you, I was fuckin busy, chill out.

Stop.

Let's Go! - From Teeko

I was at mom's work...this guy with no hair just walked right up to me and said my name, how dare he walk toward me! So I jumped up and growled and barked in his face to tell him whose boss, and then I walked away quickly...not cuz I was scared...just cuz he wasn't worth my time ya know? But my mom made me sit in front of him and he pet me. Then I went into her office and at least there was a familiar face there! I let him pet me and then went expectantly to the door, waiting for Wiley's mom to come get me.

I waited forever! And I started to cry! It was like sooooooo long. But then she finally appeared. I was so excited, I forgot about my collar, my leash, that the floor has no traction, everything, and I just ran. I ran out of the office and slid across the slick floor, peeling out til I got some grip, then bolted out to what mom calls the 'show room' and almost ran into this big rack looking thing, and ppl were calling me, I realized. I was almost at the door when I heard the 'HERE' command. Why was mom such a downer all the time? Didn't she know the effort it took to get to the door?

I ran back and sat for her to put on the collar, and then I was off!!! Running running, and I wanted to go we needed to go were we even going to go why was no one going why am I just standing here at the door and no one is opening it so we can go are we going?