Body Language? - From Teeko

Mom is freaking me out...she's speaking my language more! Of course she's not barking at me, in response to your question Lucky! That's just silly. But she's getting me to do what she wants with body language, she calls it.

I was waiting for my food, patiently staring at my bowl, when I saw she was staring at me. She obviously wanted me to do something! The way she stepped closer and leaned over me, I know I needed to get lower. So I laid down. She then let me eat. Sometimes she approaches me, makes eye contact, and walks away, and I know she wants me to follow her cuz that's what we do! But how does she know all this? Who has she been talking to? Is it one of those bastard dogs that live next door? Are they tipping her off?

What if she starts reading MY body language? Creepy! Wait...maybe I'll show her I want more treats! And food! I need more food. If she can speak it, she can read it, and if she can read I want more food, I'll get more food! I'm dying! I have decreased energy everyday because I'm SO hungry. Ever heard of seconds?! All I can summon the strength to do anymore is, run around, throw my toys, run on the treadmill as fast as it can go, run outside, tackle Lucky, play tug o' war and jump over the back of the couch, that's how weak I am, that's all I can do in an evening. That's it. Pathetic! I NEED MORE FOOD LADY!

In Trouble Drama - From Mom

This is a bit dramatic...he always smiles when he's in trouble, it's like a nervous 'heh heh nooo that wasn't me OKAY IT WAS AND I'M SORRY! Please just leave me alone I'm sorry! I'm dying!'

Give Up - From Mom

I am your master! Got it? I'm your mom too...but I'm you're my dog son! And you will be treated as such, and to be a good son, you have to obey me. Everyday. So when we're outside, I don't care that there is a dog in the backyard near you, if I tell you to lie down so I can pick up your shit, you lie down. It's a tall vinyl fence. You cannot see the dog. The dog is not going to get you.

What do you honestly think is going to happen? Even if I let you roam free, you'd be able to burst through the fence to get to the dog? Do you think the small dog that's not even barking at you even gives a shit about the fact you're on the other side of his fence? News flash for ya buddy, he doesn't.

So when I say DOWN, just lie down! JUST DO IT! We both know that you know what it means and that you're just being an ass.

Also, at the house, when I tell you to go to your bed, do you really think I'm just saying it for my own amusement? Sure, sometimes, I do actually love you more when you're sleeping. But no! I would not waste my breath just to tell you to go to your bed, if I wasn't doing something like walking to the door, answering the door, putting Lucky on the treadmill, etc. SO JUST DO IT! AH!

You make me crazy!