Goodbye - From Mom

Teeko. You have been a constant source of stress, scratches, bruises, aggravation and bafflement...But you have also been a constant source of laughter and joy, to more people than you'll ever know. Stories of you have been told, and will be told, of your crazy antics, and you're downright assholery...and of course, your baby-like cuddlyness.

I have tried everything...God knows I have...and I so desperately wish I could give you what you need...but day after day, you remind me, you are unhappy. You have your calm, cuddly times as well, where you are the perfect dog. But even if you're not pacing, I can see the restlessness in your eyes, in your continuous stare, locked on me since only days after you first arrived. I know you need to explore, being pent up in a two bedroom condo is not enough for you...and so it is not enough for me.

You prove to me, after seeing you with a yard, and then even after two hours of continuous crazy play at a dog park today, you are still wandering and sniffing hours later...you prove to me day in and day out, you need bigger space. You need more. You're a 50 lb fish in a 2 gallon tank...it doesn't matter how much we love each other...I cannot make you happy.

I wonder how I will live with myself after sending you away...but knowing you will, for sure, in your next home, have what you need, big wide open space with lots to do and maybe even a friend or kids to play with, is what keeps me strong. This is all I want for you. I love you enough to give you up, so that you can have this...you will probably forget me in a few months, your time here a distant memory, ingrained commands, a feeling once in awhile of joy but yet something still missing...maybe in your dreams you'll remember the times we ran free together outside...and maybe in your nightmares you'll remember the tight walls and cramped space and the constant pacing, and no one understanding why. It will all fade away once you find your forever home. Maybe they weren't ready for you yet, and you needed someone to love you, someone who was too codependent to see, that they would have to give up their life to make you happy...until now. And maybe now they are ready for you, and you them.

I hope a piece of me always stays with you, even if it's just a feeling as you fall asleep, a distant knowing that you were once so unconditionally loved even with all your past problems. I know I'll always remember you. I hope stories of you are still told, and others can learn from your mistakes and successes, and that you will continue to bring joy and laughter to my life, long after you are gone.